LEAN IN: Women, Work and The Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg

I first read this book in 2014 when I had just joined my current place of work and I have recommended it to so many women over the years in the hope of raising awareness and creating a culture in which women can understand that what they go through at the work place is not unique to the individual but is universal. I hope that after they read the book they can begin a conversation in their various places of work that will help achieve women empowerment. I also watched her TED talk, why we have too few women leaders.

https://www.ted.com/talks/sheryl_sandberg_why_we_have_too_few_women_leaders?utm_source=tedcomshare&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=tedspread

The author of the book is Facebook’s Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg who introduces the book with her own struggle as a pregnant woman working at Google. For those of us who have been pregnant and by pregnant, I mean pregnant as in you look like you swallowed a whale, you know what waddling is. I remember an incident during my pregnancy while at the Kenya School of Law. When I went in for my oral exams in July the lecturers just couldn’t reconcile the person they were looking at with the one on the picture in the school ID which had only been taken in January. They took turns to laugh under the table assuming my pregnancy brain wouldn’t notice. I will not even try to explain how the questioning went but it had me constantly asking “please repeat, sorry? What?” Yes, short-term memory is a thing! I don’t know if Sheryl had short-term memory loss but she was this kind of pregnant and one day she arrives late for a meeting and in her struggle to rush (waddle) to the meeting room she realizes that the parking is too far off and that’s when it hits her that other women must be going through the same ordeal. She negotiates parking space closer to the building for pregnant women and given that she’s a senior woman in the company, the wish is granted. She realizes that men do run the world which means that when it comes to making the decisions that most affect women, women’s voices are not heard equally.

Sheryl refers to various studies, which bring out the inequality ranging from the numbers of female presidents, women parliamentarians, women in leadership positions in the corporate world and board memberships. She tells of a story where she travelled to Manhattan to represent her company at a meeting.  During a break, when she turns to ask a senior executive where the women’s bathroom is, the man stares at her blankly.  She asks him how long he has been there and he answers one year. She asks if she’s the only woman to have pitched a deal there the entire year. He answers that he thinks so or that maybe she is the only one who has had to use the bathroom. Out of this, she further realizes that women face real obstacles in the professional world including blatant and subtle sexism, discrimination and sexual harassment. The sexism is so subtle that, unless female, you would miss it.

During my early days when I joined my place of work, I remember being referred to as “young girl” or “mrembo” at some of the meetings I attended. Please note I was there to provide legal counsel. What these words connote is that you’re a young girl lacking in experience and throughout this engagement I would like you to keep that in mind. The beautiful is associated with being a blonde. This means that you are only here to be seen because that is the only thing notable about you. I was very uncomfortable with this situation and in some cases I had to ask politely that someone refrains from referring to me in that way because it is unprofessional. Over time and as most of the men realized that there could be something in between my ears the titles kept changing from young girl to young lady, to lady and finally these days I simply go by Susan.

In the first chapter of the book the author talks about the leadership ambition gap. She argues that highly qualified women are scaling back and dropping out of the workforce and in turn most institutions and mentors opt to invest more in men who are more likely to stay in the workforce. She notes that the there is no doubt that women do have the skills to lead at the workplace with studies indicating that more girls are doing much better in school than boys. These academic gains however are yet to be translated into significantly higher numbers of women in top jobs. It’s quite worrying that although the workforce is full of women at the entry level, by the time the system is filling leadership positions, it is overwhelmingly stocked with men. She attributes this dwindling in numbers to the leadership ambition gap which in many ways is caused by our societal expectations. Whereas a man is expected to aspire to high levels of his career, it is not so for a woman.

Two months after having my baby, I was expected to sit for my bar exams.  Motherhood is not easy and on top of it, I developed mastitis and had to go for surgery after a month of nursing. I contemplated not sitting for the bar exam. My mother in law is a strong woman and when she heard of this, she sat me down and gave me a talk about how I could do it and how the worst thing a woman could do is be unempowered. Deferring the exam would have prolonged my state of being unempowered. I proceeded to do my exam and I am always thankful for that encouragement as I now realize that I would have been short-changing myself.

Sheryl highlights the word “ambitious” which, though considered a compliment for a man, is negative for a woman. In my own experience, I have been referred to as ambitious and not in the best connotation of the word. This has often baffled me because I always knew that a woman ought to be ambitious and aggressive at whatever she wants in life. I saw this in my mother who went to college while in her 40s all the while raising four girls on her own so I find it strange that an ambitious woman is held in negative light. This then leaves women who are highly qualified thinking that their only reason for existence is to find a man. At this point, I would recommend the TED Talk by Dame Stephanie Shirley "why do ambitious women have flat heads?".

https://www.ted.com/talks/dame_stephanie_shirley_why_do_ambitious_women_have_flat_heads?utm_source=tedcomshare&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=tedspread

The socialization that women cannot make it to leadership out of sheer hard work has worked to ingrain insecurity into women with regard to their abilities. To emphasise this, Sheryl talks about how in a meeting a woman is more likely to be interjected while speaking by men, while this occurs less when it comes to men. This has happened to me severally and I have learnt over time to continue speaking because that is what men do when someone attempts to interject while they are making a point.

In one chapter the author encourages women to sit at the table. She narrates how one time she attended a meeting and noted the women, though entitled to attend the meeting, chose to sit in chairs off to the side of the room, which made them seem more like spectators than participants. This is unlike the men who grabbed their food first and sat at the table. This is not an uncommon phenomenon and the author remembers a keynote address from Peggy McIntosh from the Wellesley Centres for Women titled “feeling like a fraud” in which she explained that most people especially women feel fraudulent when praised for their accomplishments. Most women therefore fail to put themselves forward despite their expertise in various fields. Personally, I would say I was born with this innate dose of high self-esteem that would not allow me to shy away from taking a seat earned through hard work.

The one chapter that tugged at my heart was the one on “Success and Likeability”. It had such a profound effect on me because my husband has given me pep talks over the issue of likeability a million times, my friend Ann became my therapist at one point over the issue and my mother and sister Mercy too have played psychiatrist over it. This was before a turning point that occurred and finally my mind accepted that not everyone will like you and they really do not have to anyway.

The author tells of a research that was conducted in 2003 at the Columbia Business School by Professor Frank Flynn and New York University Professor Cameron Anderson to test perceptions of men and women in the workplace. They started with a Harvard Business School case study about a real-life entrepreneur named Heidi Roizen. The case described how Roizen became a successful venture capitalist by using her outgoing personality and vast professional network that included many of the most powerful business leaders in the technology sector. The two professors assigned half of the students to read Heidi’s story and gave the other half the same story, changing the subject’s name from Heidi to Howard. The students rated both Heidi and Howard as equally competent yet while they respected both, Howard came across as a more appealing colleague while Heidi was viewed as selfish and not the type of person they would want to hire or work for. Seriously???!!

The author articulates that this experiment supports what research has already clearly shown; success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. She argues that because of such stereotypes most women have been afraid to take on powerful positions for fear of being disliked. The dynamics play out when a woman excels at her job, both male and female colleagues will remark that “she may be accomplishing a lot but she is not well liked by her peers”. She is probably “too aggressive”, “not a team player”, “a bit political”, “can’t be trusted” or “difficult”. In my experience, I have found that those titles often follow a woman who is sure of herself, who is not afraid to speak her mind and most of all is not a damsel in distress. A woman who fails to conform to these societal expectations and excels more than is approved of by the society will pay the price. To assert this point the author lists the derogatory descriptions of some of the first female world leaders. Margaret Thatcher was called “Attila the Hen”, Golda Meir was “the only man in the Cabinet, Indira Gandhi was referred to as “the old witch” and Angela Merkel has been dubbed “the iron frau”. Closer home you know what Martha Karua has been referred to.

Another vital chapter in the book is one in which women are encouraged to find a real partner. The author advises women that the most important career decision they will make is whether to have a life partner and who that partner will be. She goes on to explain the expectations of the society on raising children. It is expected that a woman’s career will take a dip once she gives birth, which is not the same for men. So, this means that a working mother has two full time jobs, which most definitely will cause burnout. Only women with real partners survive in the workforce. A real partner splits the roles 50/50 and knows that they are also a parent. I will tie this to the chapter where she tackles the myth of doing it all. The number one question that women are asked is how do you do it all? I have been asked severally how it is that I do it all, I’m a lawyer, a mother and I still have time for this blog and other social activities how do I do it all? To be honest and in the words of Sheryl… I don’t.

I have a husband who is a real partner to me. From the day our son was born we have never had an argument on his role as a father. I could disappear for weeks and know that they will be fine. Last November he travelled and it was expected that as a parent I would remember to attend our son’s open day with the teacher. Though it was at the back of my mind, it completely escaped my mind on the material day. Only much later when he asked did I remember. Now he created reminders on the google calendar which pop up a day before the event to avoid such.  He encourages me to read more, to do more professional courses, to work harder and waits for me on the days that I work late. A real partner. As I read this book I was nodding and laughing as the author shares similar experiences that I have been through. She once took her son to school wearing a blue t-shirt on a day meant for green. My son has worn games shorts on days he’s meant to wear regular school uniform, but hey that’s not the point.  The point is that as women we have the need to be perfect and do it all and when the inevitable happens and we fall short of perfection we become hard on ourselves which allows feelings of guilt and doubt fill our minds. I wanted to reach out to her and high five her over a glass of wine.

Finally, the book encourages women to come together and work for equality. Many women view each other as competition instead of working together against an unfair system. This bickering has not worked for women and never will. Lord Laro’s song “Women Rule” aptly describes female cat fights and further cements the stereotype that women are their worst enemies. He sings that under women rule a world war will be caused by stories about how “she said and she said”. This “she said she said” diminishes the standing of women as leaders at the workplace. I believe women can rise above this. As former U.S secretary of state Madeline Albright once said “there’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.”

I highly recommend the book. It contains topics on mentorship, seeking and speaking your truth, and not leaving before you leave which I could not cover without writing another book. I hope to write about my experiences someday but for now as all women and men read this, they should appreciate that men too have a responsibility to raise and mentor daughters who shall not be afraid to lean in to their careers and whatever it is that makes them happy.

THE LOOTING MACHINE: Warlords, Oligarchs, Corporations, Smugglers, and the Theft of Africa’s Wealth By Tom Burgis

It took me a while to complete this book. It is the kind of book that one has to dissect and digest, as the themes it explores are those, which all Africans have pondered over at least once in their lives. I have pondered over these themes since back when I was still in the NGO world when my boss sent me to represent my organization at a workshop that brought together human rights organizations from across Africa to explore the grievance mechanisms for communities that had suffered human rights abuses by multinational companies. The workshop informed my choice of topic for my master’s degree in corporate governance thesis examining the human rights violations by multi nationals in Africa vis-a-vis the guidelines issued by the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD). It is a hard topic to think about and an even harder one for anyone directly affected or who has witnessed the conflicts in various parts of the continent. The author covered one of the massacres that occurred in Jos, Nigeria and landed in a psychiatric ward getting treatment for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. If you remember the Marikana massacre in South Africa, you may have questioned yourself as to what Africa’s problem is. (As for me, I was livid!). Africa is the richest continent in terms of resources, so what ails us?

The author attempts to get an answer to this question in his travails across Africa, especially the resource rich countries, Asia in particular the giant economy of China and a visit to Wall Street. In the process he uncovers a seemingly well-orchestrated system of looting that robs ordinary Africans of a share of its precious resource wealth.

Burgis begins by explaining “the resource curse”, a situation where the income generated by a nation’s resource distorts the rest of its economy. In states whose exports from resources form more than a quarter of the income, it is considered likely that the phenomenon of the resource curse will occur. There are exceptions to this of course but rarely in Africa. He proceeds to explain that because a resource rich country earns most of its income from the resource, its government is in most cases not obliged to uphold its social contract with the citizenry as it does not rely on taxes as a source of revenue. This is very interesting, as you will note that the richest countries in terms of resources have had series of coups and autocratic governments.

Angola is considered a heavyweight in the production of crude in Africa and it is here that the author begins the journey to expose the kleptocracy, corruption and downright plunder perpetuated in some countries within sub-Saharan Africa. He takes us back through the history of the country and the formation of a shadow state by one of the president’s closest aides with the sole purpose of diverting oil money to a few individuals, the ‘futungo’. Manuel Vicente, head of the national oil company, strikes deals with a company from China owned by one Sam Pa to effectively loot Angola’s oil wealth. The line between public and private interests becomes increasingly blurry as a web of companies registered locally and in notorious tax havens ensure that most of the income generated from the national oil company ends up in the pockets of the ‘futungo’ and their associates rather than being channeled to the Angolan government as should be. Sam Pa soon establishes a network in which African autocrats can rely on for financial aid whenever they find themselves facing sanctions by the west because of violations in their countries.

The author then takes us to the richest country in Africa in terms of resources—the Democratic Republic of Congo. One thing I enjoyed about this book is how the author highlights the painstaking research he undertook. In DRC we are taken through the dynamics that contribute to the guerilla warfare in the country with the aim of plundering its resources, from the guise by Rwandese army of pursuing the ‘interahamwe’ and its various sponsored rebel groups to the armed rebellion led by the late Laurent Kabila. Just as in Angola, the DRC has its own clique of individuals who form a shadow government whose activities include the transfer of ownership of assets from the state mining sector to private corporations. Katumba Mwanke is highlighted as a key figure behind the looting machine in DRC. A close ally of the president (Joseph Kabila) he was a powerful man who controlled Congo’s minerals especially in the Katanga region known for its vast deposits in Cobalt. Mining assets under the ownership of the state were transferred from the state to private companies under the control of Katumba and his allies. Katumba died in a plane accident in 2012. In this chapter, the author outlines the connection between a young Israeli who came to Congo in search of a legacy and diamonds and his connection with Sam Pa. He also highlights the inescapable fact that regardless of what the various militias in the Congo claim to be fighting for; the bottom line is that they are all mining.

The Nigerian story is one described as one of gross corruption which has made way for a thriving smuggling business and a deluge of counterfeits from China. The Nigerian textile industry is said to have taken a hit with the influx of cheaper counterfeit textiles from China labelled as “Made in Nigeria”. Do you believe this my Kitenge pips? In this chapter, Alhaji Dahiru Mangal is named as the figure behind a smuggling business which has continued to thrive at the expense of Nigeria’s textile industry. When questioned about his role in the loss of jobs and death of the local industry, he simply states that he is merely providing logistics and if he were not the one doing it somebody else would. To some extent, you are tempted to agree with the man, as the role of the government is to ensure that contraband items do not enter into the country. But then again, does his argument hold?

Deeper into the Niger Delta, which produces vast amounts of oil, the story told is that of corruption, war and looting of resources disguised in tribal and religious wars. The rise of boko haram and other militias is represented as part of a struggle for self-enrichment. To get rid of the warmongers, multinationals have to pay for protection money while through private companies and banks, kleptocrats make away with millions of plundered dollars whose origins are concealed in offshore tax havens. When the ill-gotten loot is laundered back into the economy, it distorts of the fair market value of ordinary commodities and real estate. It is in this Chapter that the author explores the correlation between a massacre in the Niger Delta and the spiking of oil prices and how this may be part of a grand scheme. The interests of multinationals also come into play and you will understand how and why the corporations fund militias.

The below quote got me thinking.

“These networks vary by country, creed and commodity but they have some traits in common. They fuse private interests with public office; they operate in the underbelly of globalization, where criminal enterprises and international trade overlap and they depend on the power of mining industries to create narrow economies in which access to wealth is concentrated in the hands of small repressive ruling classes and those who bribe their way to favour”

The colonialists came to Africa to loot its resources with guns and found African collaborators who gladly sold their kin for gifts. In modern day colonialism by China, this is done voluntarily through contracts in which the Chinese promise to build infrastructure for African countries while they make away with mining rights and concessions to secure a future for their industrialization. The Africans on the other hand produce raw crude, which ends up back in Africa after manufacture and pricier than it left the continent. With no prospects for industrialization and manufacturing plants in Africa, it is hard to see how this will end.

Modern day colonialism has its collaborators who are the main beneficiaries of the looting. The few influential Africans who have sold their countries for their own enrichment continue to live lavishly in sharp contrast to their subjects who continue to suffer in deep penury. In South Africa, a few blacks were able to benefit from the Black Economic Empowerment (BEE) Programme after the abolishment of apartheid. Cyril Ramaphosa was once the chairman of the national association of mine workers and construction union and one of the beneficiaries of BEE. The author finds it rather ironic that wearing his hat a Board Member of Lonmin, in 2010 Ramaphosa claimed the strike by workers at Marikana Mine was ‘plainly dastardly criminal’. Thirty-Four miners died in the massacre by police at Marikana. Watch the documentary “Miners shot down” to get a feel of how sad this event was.

In equatorial Guinea, the president’s son Teodorin Obiang is said to lead an obscenely rich lifestyle owning a mansion in Malibu, properties in Cape Town and Paris, a fleet of Ferraris and Rolls Royces and one of Michael Jacksons crystal encrusted gloves. The gap between the rich and the poor in his country continues to expand with no sign of narrowing.

The corruption, tribalism and religious differences within Africa continue to grease the looting machine and looters capitalize on this as they continue in their plunder. The complicity by the west and the World Bank and IMF has further contributed to the machine. In these African countries, few individuals working for the public institutions have found a way of fusing their public role with private business through a network of companies registered offshore. These illicit activities work to turn elections into a struggle for survival literally fueled by tribal tensions in which every tribe hopes to place its ethnic leader in a position where they can access a share of the loot. What is currently happening in Gambia and DRC is all part of this struggle. In the book the story is told of Zimbabwe and the struggle between the president and opposition when the power sharing agreement placed the finance ministry under Morgan Tsvangirai’s MDC. The ever-present Sam Pa is touted to have saved the day and contributed to Mugabe’s political survival and return to absolute power.

Please read the book, it will shock you, challenge you and perhaps inspire you to come up with a solution for our beloved continent. I believe not all is lost...